"After doing 23 years in prison so many connections
were just gone..."
—Jessie Rosbia
"When I went to prison way back in 1998 I'd remember family gatherings and block parties. I remembered a family that was close and connected. Since I was released, maybe I'll hear from a family member every other year if I'm lucky. I don't take it personally. I know they have grown over the decades and have their own customs and family relations and it doesn't necessarily mean it includes me just because I popped up into the scene.
"My family members had scattered. My little sisters were now adults, my big brothers were husbands and fathers. For others who go through this, and for anyone who has been in prison for many years—you should know you are still a cherished family member, but that doesn't mean that all of a sudden everyone's going to say 'hey he's back! It's time to stop everything that we've been doing for the last how-many-decades so that we can catch him back up.' If you're waiting for that, you're going to be disappointed.
"It's a matter of self-discipline not to feel hurt. Instead, cultivate an appreciation for all that the grace of God has given us just to be out among the living. Know that even if you don't hear from a family member or friend, or associate, you still must press on and be thankful, because one thing's for sure: God is always by your side, even if you find yourself alone, still troubled by the events and experiences of your past.
"It is when we hurdle into our futures that we make our first mistake. Hurdling is what we do because we are trying to make up for lost time. But that time and experience isn't lost, and you can't make up for it. The only thing that you can do is be grateful for the grace of God and for each day, each moment, and every new experience that is part of your new life. From there you will be able to move forward, even if some of your closest loved ones and friends are sadly missing from your life.
"As for me, I still reach out believing for connection, while trying to keep my head up high enough to see Him who gives me strength."
Thank you Jesse!
Jim
These thoughts were written to us recently by Jesse Rosbia, who we met while he was still in prison, and with whom we happily and proudly continue to communicate.
Photo at the Putnamville Correctional Facility, 2018: Left, 2nd Chance Indiana's Nancy Cotterill, and Jim Cotterill, right, and Jessie Rosbia, center.
